It's All Duo's Fault!
by Faye My Funny Valentine
Summary: Just your typical day at Preventers HQ...


Oi minna! I know I have two other things I should be working on, but whatever. Here's a fun little chase ficcy that is more or less a Doujinshi that I did in written form. Someday when I have a scanner and a page, I'll have to put it up. It's hilarious.   
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, but someday...   
Warnings: *Thinks* Err... language, running with sharp objects, naked Shinji Ikari from EVA, ummm... I think that's it. =^.^=  
  
  
"It's All Duo's Fault!!!"  
by Shinigami Baby  
  
  
Preventer Headquarters. Where the ex-Gundam pilots work to further Relena Peacecraft's pacifist ideals. To prevent wars and whatnot. To-  
  
"MAXWELL!"  
  
...Nevermind.  
  
  
Wufei ran down the long corridor, the sound of his feet clicking along the newly waxed floor. His sword was drawn and held in an arc high over his head as he ran in pursuit of said offender, Duo Maxwell. Things like this weren't unlikely at Preventer Headquarters. Infact, they were expected. Lady Une had long since invested in buying aspirin by wholesale, rather than retail, the headaches were getting so bad.  
  
Wufei skidded to a halt, but it was in vain, his feet weren't agreeing with the floor beneath them and he slammed right into the wall. He quickly got up and glanced to his left, then his right. "Which way could that baka have gone...?" Wufei asked himself out loud.  
  
"Yoooo-hoooooo! Wuuuuuuuuuuu-chaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!" Duo called from down the right corridor. He waved at him and stuck out his tongue before taking off again.  
  
"Dishonorable cur! Come back here!!!" Wufei demanded as he took off running again.  
  
  
Somewhere less chaotic...  
  
Trowa and Quatre were walking down one of the many hallways in Preventer HQ, both carrying large amounts of paperwork. Quatre could barely see over his share and stepped cautiously as he walked. Trowa watched his friend carefully, making sure that he wouldn't slip. The floors had just been waxed and were extremely slippery. The slightest loss of footing could send Quatre skidding across the floor, scattering paperwork that took hours to organize all over the place.  
  
Since he had met the young Arabian, Trowa felt it was his responsibility to keep him protected. Even when his memory was gone, he knew that Quatre was someone important to him. Once his memories returned, Trowa came upon the realization that he felt more than friendship for the little blonde. But did Quatre feel the same way? Trowa wasn't sure. Sometimes, it would seem like Quatre was almost flirting with him, but other times, Trowa noticed, Quatre seemed awfully close to Duo.   
  
'Don't get jealous don't get jealous don't get jealous...' Trowa would think over and over again, repeating the thought like some kind of mantra. You can't be jealous if there's nothing to be jealous of, right? Well, Trowa decided it was time to stop tip-toeing around the subject. He needed to know NOW.  
  
"Quatre?"  
  
"Yes?" Quatre looked up at him with big blue eyes.  
  
Trowa almost melted. "I need to ask you something sort of important."  
  
"You can ask me anything, Trowa." Quatre said soothingly.  
  
"I... well... i-is there-"  
  
"Make way! Comin' though!!!" Duo plowed through the two of them, pushing Trowa to one side of the hall, and Quatre to the other, sending all their paperwork flying.   
  
"Gaaaaaah!" Quatre screamed, watching the papers float down to the floor. He was about to begin re-organizing them when Wufei ran through them as well.  
  
"Get the Hell out of my way!!!" He demanded as he ran though the paperwork, sword swinging high over his head.  
  
Quatre and Trowa watched them round the corner from their positions on the floor. Trowa shook his head and began to pile the papers together in stacks when he heard a small squeaking sound. He looked over and met Quatre's eyes, which were glazed over with tears. "Quatre?"  
  
Quatre erupted with sobs and threw himself at Trowa. "We just finished filing these! Now we gotta do it all over agaaaaaaain! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"  
  
Trowa rubbed the hysterical Arabian's back in some soothing gesture and made comforting remarks, telling him it was going to be okay and such things.  
  
"It's not fair, Trowa! *sniffle* We spent all day sorting those papers! It's going to take forever to get them the way they were again!" Quatre said wiping his teary eyes with his fists.  
  
Trowa gave him a small smile and ruffled his hair gently. "I don't mind, Little One."   
  
Quatre smiled. "Oh Trowa..." He began piling up papers and stacking them up, to be carried back to his room to be sorted. He went to go reach for some more papers when something caught his eye. I won't elaborate here, but let's just say that by looking up the leg of Trowa's shorts, Quatre found out that he doesn't wear anything *under* them. (coughs) Quatre quickly turned a bright red and dropped any papers he was holding.  
  
Trowa looked over at him. "Are you okay Quatre?"  
  
Quatre pinched his nostrils together in an attempt to keep the blood from shooting out. He only nodded in response, gathering the papers back with his free hand. Trowa only shrugged and continued to pick up the mess.  
  
  
Heero's room...  
  
Heero stared into the screen of his computer as it if held the answers of the universe. The shades in his room were down, causing the only light in the room to be emitted from said screen. Heero typed quicker as he came nearer to ending his report to Lady Une, anxious to get out of the damn room and breathe some fresh air. Heero liked to work without distractions.  
  
Duo barged into the room, light spilling in behind him. Heero glared up from his computer screen, blocking the offending light with his arm. He made a hissing sound and stared at Duo.  
  
"Oi Heero...heh heh. Can you do me a favor and not tell Wu-chan I'm in here?" Duo asked.  
  
Heero shrugged and resumed his typing.  
  
"Yatta! Arigatou, Heero!" Duo said, diving under Heero's bed.  
  
Not two seconds after the fact, Wufei barged into Heero's room. "OI! WHERE IS THAT SHIT HEAD!?" Wufei asked rather loudly.  
  
"You mean Duo?" Heero asked, while his typing speed mounted.  
  
"Do you know any OTHER shit heads?" Wufei asked sarcastically.  
  
"Hn. He's under my bed."  
  
"HEERO!" Duo shouted, betrayed.  
  
"HAH! Gotcha!" Wufei yelled, pointing his sword at Duo's throat.  
  
"Ya gotta catch me first Wu-chan!" Duo teased, running over to where Heero was sitting.  
  
"Please don't fight around me, I'm almost done with this report and-"   
  
The screen went black. Heero's eye twitched a bit.  
  
"Uh-oh..." Duo said.  
  
"Look at what you did!" Wufei accused Duo, even though it was his sword that cut the cable. Before Duo could come up with a nasty retort, Wufei was long gone. Leaving Duo alone with a very pissed off work-a-holic.  
  
"Err, see ya later Hee-"  
  
"OMAE O KOROSU!"  
  
"Shiiiiiiiiit!" Duo squealed as he ran out of the room, tailed by Heero.  
  
  
Up the Hall a bit...  
  
"So Noin, what are you doing Friday night?"  
  
Noin blushed. "Well, I was just going to stay in and watch some TV, maybe rent a movie or something. Why Zechs?"  
  
Zechs smirked. "I was just wondering if you-"  
  
"STEP ASIDE, YOU'RE BLOCKING THE WHOLE DAMN HALLWAY!" Wufei shouted as he knocked Zechs into Noin, making them kiss.  
  
The two pulled away after a minute, both blushing furiously. Noin cleared her throat. "Y-you were saying?"  
  
Zechs smiled. "I was going to say-"  
  
"Aiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeee! HELP ME!" Duo screamed as he ran down the hallway, pushing Zechs and Noin to the floor.   
  
As Zechs was trying to get up off the floor, Heero jumped on his back and continued to run. Zechs, now quite irritated, quickly got up and ran after Heero. Noin, Hell-bent on finding out what Zechs was going to say to her, followed closely behind.  
  
  
Sally Po's Office...  
  
"Um, Dr. Po, are you sure that this procedure is required?" The new Preventer asked, no make that *whined*.  
  
"This is a routine physical, Mr. Ikari, now stop squirming." Sally said. "Now turn your head and cough." She instructed.  
  
At this moment, who barges in but-  
  
"Wufei?!" Sally shouted.  
  
The now screaming patient covered himself up with a conveniently placed Clefairy doll.  
  
"Sally! Hide me! They're going to kill me!!!" Wufei said, opening a cabinet, hoping it would be large enough to fit in. It wasn't, so he slammed it shut again.  
  
Sally put her hands on her hips. "You want help from me? A weakling onna?"  
  
"Just hide me, woman!" Wufei begged, shaking her.  
  
Duo ran into the room now, and locked the door behind himself. He gasped for air and then noticed he had company. "Hey Sally..." Duo's eyes narrowed "Wu-chan." He looked over at the scared young man on the table clutching a Pokemon over his crotch. "Who's the naked guy?"  
  
Heero banged on the other side of the door. "If you bastards don't open this door, I'll SHOOT my wa-aagh!"  
  
Zechs grabbed Heero by some of the hair on the top of his head. "What the Hell did you think you were doing jumping on me like that? I have a delicate back, you know!"  
  
Noin caught up to Zechs, panting. "Jesus, what the Hell is going on here?!"  
  
Heero and Zechs both shot her an angry "I DON'T KNOW!" Before pounding on the door, demanding entry into Sally's small office.  
  
"God, just leave me out of this!" Sally said, pushing Duo and Wufei out of the office.  
  
"HAH! Gotcha!" Heero proclaimed, a wad of hair in his hand.  
  
Zechs growled. "Let go of my hair you idiot!"  
  
Heero looked down at his hand expecting to see Duo's chestnut strands, but instead saw dead white. "Hey, I thought that-"  
  
"They went THAT way..." Noin said, annoyed.  
  
Heero nodded and broke into a sprint down the hall in the direction Noin pointed out.  
  
Sally poked her head out the door and looked at Noin and Zechs. "Can you guys tell me just what the Hell's going on?"  
  
Noin and Zechs shook their heads.  
  
Sally sweatdropped. "Thought so. Ah well..." She shut the door again.  
  
  
Quatre's room...  
  
Quatre laid back on his bed and sighed happily. "Ahhh! Finally finished!" He threw his hands behind his head and smiled. "I thought we'd never get done, Trowa..."  
  
Trowa nodded. "That did take quite a while, didn't it?" He stretched his arms out over his head, then laid back beside Quatre. "Well, now that we're done, do you want to go get something to eat?"  
  
Quatre sat up quickly and grabbed Trowa's hand. "Are you kidding? Of course I do! I haven't eaten anything all day, let's go."   
  
Once they were outside Quatre's room, Quatre made sure he locked his door. There was no way those jerks were going to make them have to re-organize those papers *again*. He and Trowa made it not even a yard down the hall when they heard some yelling not far behind them.  
  
"Wu-chan you get back here!"  
  
"Duo! Omae o Korosu!"  
  
"I'll never let you weaklings get me!"  
  
Trowa looked behind himself for a moment, then pulled Quatre to his side, out of the way as Wufei came running by, followed by Duo, then Heero.  
  
"Trowa what do you suppose-" Quatre began to ask Trowa something but was cut off.  
  
"Yuy, get back here!!!!"  
  
"Zeeeeeechs slow dowwwwn!"  
  
Zechs and Noin ran by them, almost knocking Trowa into the wall.  
  
"Trowa are you alright?"  
  
Trowa nodded. "I'm fine." The two headed out to the garage. "So, where do you want to go?"  
  
Quatre shrugged. "I don't care, really. Wherever you want to go is fine."  
  
"Wherever I want, eh?" Trowa turned his back to Quatre for a minute to give the camera a feral grin, complete with a very OOC SD (out-of-character super-deformed) face with kawaii little ookami (wolf) fangs[1]. He turned back to face Quatre. "Okay, let's go then."  
  
Quatre had no idea what to make of this, so just went along with it, getting into the passenger's side of Trowa's neon green clown car. Quatre looked over at Trowa. "You should fasten your seat belt before pulling out of the gara... is that a tail?"  
  
Trowa blinked. "Nani? A tail? Y-you're imagining things, Little One."  
  
Quatre blinked. Where he thought he saw a bushy ookami-tail, was now just regular Trowaness. 'I must be really hungry...' The young Arabian thought. 'I'm so starved, I'm thinking Trowa has a tail...'  
  
Trowa began pulling out of the driveway when there was a sudden shaking. Once he saw Duo and Heero running out of the garage, making rude gestures with their hands, Trowa knew what had just happened. Wufei jumped onto the roof of the car.  
  
  
On the roof of the clown car...  
  
"Hah! Weaklings! You'll never catch me now!" Wufei shouted to a very pissed Duo and Heero, complete with his one-finger salute.  
  
  
Back at the garage...  
  
"He's a dead man." Heero and Duo said at the same time, before jumping on a 2-man bicycle and pedaling furiously after the small car.  
  
  
Quatre looked in the rear view mirror. "Oh my God, Trowa! They're gaining on us!"  
  
Wufei banged on the roof. "Oi! Can't this-this SHRINER'S CAR go any faster!?"  
  
"It's not a shriner's car, it's a clown car! If you don't like it, then get off!!" Trowa shot back.  
  
"Injustice! I've never seen such a weak vehicle... except maybe for that contraption that Yuy and Maxwell are riding on." Wufei retorted.  
  
Trowa rolled down his window and stuck his head out, then faced Wufei. The car swerved a bit, until Quatre shrieked and grabbed the wheel.  
  
"Are you trying to get us killed?!" Quatre screamed, steering the car, narrowly avoiding an old lady with a walker.  
  
"Me trying to get us killed? What about Mr. 'I-like-to-jump-on-cars' over here!?" Trowa defended himself.  
  
"Are you mocking me, Barton!?" Wufei's face turned red with fury.  
  
"Guys!" Quatre's distressed voice pleaded. "We shouldn't be fighting eachother!"  
  
By this time, Heero and Duo had caught up with the clown car.  
  
"Okay Duo, on 3 we jump, got that?" Heero instructed.  
  
Duo nodded. "Gotcha."  
  
"One... two...-"  
  
"Do we jump at three or *on* three?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, are we gonna go 'one,two' then jump while yelling three, or do we go 'one,two,three', THEN jump?" Duo asked.  
  
Heero smacked Duo on the back of the head.  
  
"Itai!"  
  
"We jump on... grr... the second one." Heero said.  
  
"Okay, but you didn't need to hit me, sheesh..."  
  
"One... two....three!"  
  
The two young men jumped from the 2-man bicycle onto the roof of the small clown car. The impact made the car swerve again.  
  
"Gaaaaaaaaah! Trowa heeeeelp!" Quatre screeched. "Get out of the window and DRIVE this thing!!!"  
  
Trowa tried to move back into the car. "Um, Quatre?"  
  
"WHAT?!" Quatre was getting *quite* impatient.  
  
"My foot's stuck, I can't!" Trowa whined, getting out-of-character.  
  
The other four pilots let out a similar whine before screaming as the car went over a cliff.   
  
Heero clung to Duo on one side, Wufei clung to Duo on the other side. Trowa hugged what he could of the car, while Quatre squeezed the steering wheel for dear life.   
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH........" the five ex-Gundam pilots took a deep breath, then resumed screaming.   
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"  
  
...They were *still* falling...  
  
Duo was sobbing hysterically by now. "Wu-chan...*sniffle* I just wanna apologize for all the times I pissed you off! I only did it because I'm secretly in love with you!"  
  
Wufei's bottom lip trembled. "ME TOO!"  
  
The two young men hugged tightly, unknowingly squeezing the life out of Heero in the process.  
  
"Can't... breathe... will... never... see... 'RENT'..." Heero uttered before turning blue and passing out.  
  
"Quatre I have a confession to make..." Trowa shouted.  
  
"What is it, Trowa?" Quatre asked, not letting go of the steering wheel.  
  
"I'm in love with you in a way no man has ever been!"[2]   
  
Quatre blinked. "Oh Trowa! It's about damn time you said something! You could cut the sexual tension between us with a knife sometimes! I'm so glad you've told me this because... I LOVE YOU, TOO!"  
  
"Quatre..."  
  
"Trowa..."  
  
The background gets all cloudy and sparkly for a moment before turning back into a rapidly falling car and five screaming boys.......   
  
  
END?  
  
Saa! Talk about cliff-hangers! Well, this is more of a cliff-faller, but whatever! =^_^= Ooooh what will happen next, I wonder?  
  
1- The ookami stuff... in a kawaii yaoi anime called FAKE, a cop named Dee is always trying to get his partner Ryo in the sack. Sometimes, he sprouts ookami features as away for the artist to exaggerate his... hunger? *laughs* It's really funny, that's all I know.  
  
2- This quote Trowa said is from another anime called "El-Hazard 2". In it, the Princess Fatora professes her love to the restaurant owner Nanami (yes, they're both girls). But... the thing is, Fatora is disguised as Nanami's crush, a boy named Makoto. It's really funny, and you guys should check it out if you wanna see a really funny anime loaded with yuri. I just thought that this would sound so funny coming from Trowa's mouth.  
  
  
Eek, I was surfing around yesterday looking for fanfics I haven't read yet, and I came across something. As it turns out, the reincarnation thing has been done already for the Gundam Wing crew. So, not being one to steal ideas, I'm abandoning the Reincarnation fic. If you wanna check out a really good reincarnation series, go to Manda's Mess. The URL is... something, just check the GW- Far Off Dawn Webring, it's in there somewhere. Hers is infinitely better than mine. I especially liked the vampire one she did. =d   
  
Anywayyyy I'm off fanfiction.net for a bit, so don't expect anything new from me for a while. So, I hope you guys enjoyed this fic, cuz it'll be the last one I do for a while. =^_^= Ja minna! *glomps*  
  
~Shinigami Baby 


End file.
